"When life hands you Kanye, you make Kanye-isms."
And thus Yeezus spoke – at length – without coherence – possibly under the influence – about the truth. At the tabernacle of daytime television, Yeezus dropped knowledge bombs on us, his unworthy subjects. His teachings are recorded here, spoken and implied, in the writings of a lowly scribe, for all of us to partake, and impart in our daily lives Kanye:
1. "What's the point in thinking?"
He wants us to forgo the inhibitions of critical thinking; the stumbling block to human progress. There is no point in braining. Can't brain? Don't brain, because why brain?
2. "Put some dope sh*t on it."
Put dope on things. Proceed like a boss. Drop the mic.
Collate your life experiences, lay them before you, and put some dope sh*t on it. You will find your way.
3. Clothes are an important issue
The raping of mother earth is a big issue, but so is “... wanting to have a cool outfit”. What other reason is there to love earth? That's where we can all show off our garments.
4. Be the Michael Jackson of –
Remember to always Michael Jackson your life.
To be used when trying to break into a new industry. Just as Yeezus broke the fashion industry by selling overpriced rags to sartorially shallow fools, so shall we conquer any obstacle. By Michael Jackson-ing it.
5. Apologise for your real-ness
Humankind is not yet ready for your Kanye-isms, for it sees but does not perceive, it hears but does not sonically register. For what are ears if not sound holes?
Apply these Kanye-isms and go forth, Tweet billionaires, steal awards on live TV, go publicly into debt. Drop some dope sh*t and Kanye-fy your life.