Have you ever had a Jennifer Lawrence moment? Tripped over your skirt in front of your date? Accidentally spat saliva at your crush? Tried to impress a guy but failed horribly? Had an obsessive person stalk you? Then you’ll be able to relate to these Malaysians’ laugh-out-loud unromantic experiences.
#1 Subtlety is lost on some of us as proven by William's account. He had a major crush on a girl during a camp. Things seemed to be going well. They were doing things couples-to-be usually do... until the last night of camp, which as we all know, is when the good stuff really happens.
“I'm like 'Hey, let's go out and look at stars later. I'll meet you at XXX'. So we showed up, and so did a couple of our friends (it became a group thing) and this girl's just like, 'Brrr…I'm freezing". I'm sitting there beside her with this huge denim jacket and I said, 'Where's your jacket?' She’s like, 'I left it in my dorm' and I told her to 'go get it'. Yeah, you can tell it all went downhill from there. I gave her my jacket in the end but she must've been fed up AF cos she got together with the first guy that joined school the next quarter.”
Obviously, he didn't get the hint. (Image: tonsofcats.com)
#2 You probably had pranks played on you by playful guys who liked you and wanted your attention but couldn’t work up the courage to confess. Wei En, however, wanted to be the one who prank her crush.
"I had a crush on a friend's older brother and I wanted to get his attention. I went up to him and said, 'Hey, your fly is open'. He turned and checked himself, and then he said, 'Noooo, YOUR fly is open'. And I looked down. Every word he said was true. Epic fail."
Their expressions speak for us all. (Image: Eurweb.com)
#3 This is one of our worst nightmares come true. It’s like a scene from Stephen King’s Carrie. Emma had always had a dream that she and her best friend would become lovers one day. We think that fantasy tanked when this happened.
“I was crushing on one of my best friends. And I wanted to impress him so I started doing push-ups in my pinafore. And he was like, 'Errrr... Emma... I think you better stop. There's something on your skirt.' I protested, "Nooooo. It's okay. Look at me. I can do push-ups.' And my Modern Maths teacher said, 'Emma, you'd better go to the bathroom. There's blood on your skirt.' My period had come and all my classmates had witnessed the entire scene!”
Even Jon Snow feels bad for her. And he knows nothing. (Image: moviepilot.com)
#4 In secondary school, Jon befriended a girl, who, like him, was a social outcast. Somehow, she began to think that they were a couple, but he was completely oblivious to how she felt.
“One day, after school, she decided to drag me into a classroom and started forcing herself inappropriately on me. Being socially awkward, I froze. I didn't want to make a noise because I was more afraid of being caught. My mind was still rather pure. So I didn't understand what was going on. Once I saw that there was no one near the classrooms, I got the hell out of there. After that, she began to spread rumours that she was pregnant (even though we didn't do anything). I was like WTF and chose to give up any form of contact with this person.”
We'd teleport ourselves to a galaxy far, far away if we were in your position too, Jon. (Image: pinterest.com/smitj118)
#5 Bill never has the guts to make a romantic confession to his love interest. What he does do is hover over them, hoping they’ll put two and two together.
“I was working in a haunted house. I had a crush on a crew member, so I did my usual thing and just hovered around her and tried my best to talk to her. One day, I decided to ajak
her to eat. We went out. Complete silence. Then, while I was eating, she blurted out, 'You like me is it?' I panicked, spat out my food, and coughed. Spent a short minute trying to figure out if I should lie, but I nodded. I kinda thought that since she brought it up, maybe she felt the same. Major eff up there. Kena
reject hardcore. She didn't want me within three feet of her for that entire evening. And it wasn't even meant to be a date in the first place.”
We feel his pain. (GIF: Giphy)
#6 You'd think that giving your number as a gesture of gratitude is pretty harmless. Sarah thought so too. Big mistake.
“[A TSA guy who allowed me to cut the queue at the airport] had a HUGE crush on me and took me out on a date. [At first], all went as per normal. Here's the freaky part. He booked the entire restaurant and hired a violinist-trio to play throughout our entire dinner. He also invited me to his house to meet his parents, who live in the ranch, and he spoke about their geese, cows, goats, and other animals. Turned out that he's a very typical redneck. I never picked up his calls after that. Some days, he would call up to 15 times. On Valentine's Day, he even sent flowers to the international students office, addressing it to 'Sarah' and they had a hard time locating which Sarah in the entire campus. I then gave the beautiful basket of flowers to my friend, who didn't get anything for his girlfriend."
When he gets too close for comfort. (GIF: Giphy)
#7 You know how we give out hints to test whether our crushes are into us? Syarifah liked a guy, but was unsure if he was single. So, this happened.
“[I] ended up just blurting out, 'Do you have a girlfriend?' in the middle of a completely unrelated conversation. And there were other people present. He answered that he had a girlfriend. That was super embarrassing. But a few months later, after he broke up with his girlfriend, he asked me out.”
Ooops! Oh well, at least it worked in Syarifah's favour! (GIF: Giphy)
#8 Mira finds herself socially awkward in the sense that she doesn’t know how to react to people.
“When I first met my girlfriend, it was practically love at first sight for me, but I was so tongue-tied I replied to her with one word answers whenever she tried to talk to me. Even though I liked her a lot, she thought I either disliked her or found her annoying because that was the impression I gave her. It took us a few more meetings (and a few drinks) before we both managed to figure out that we liked each other.”
I can't help it if my face talks more than I do. (Image: collegetimes.com)
#9 You think you’ve seen them all. And then someone comes along and proves you wrong. This guy redefined the phrase “momma’s boy” for us all as Gabrielle found out.
“I had feelings for a guy who was almost two years younger than I was. He kinda liked me too. Here's what happened next. On our first date, his mum came along. And it would have been a nice date, being wheeled around at IKEA... if not for the fact that his mum was there. Later on, he and his mum went to the bathroom to discuss me. And when they came out, his mum pulled me aside and said very seriously, 'Gabrielle, I don't think you're right for my son.' Spoiler alert: That was our last date.”
Yeah right. We bet his mum will propose for him too. (GIF: Giphy)
#10 This is the story of how Diana's Tinder date went horribly awry. At least, the guy was a gentleman though.
"After dinner, we went to smoke in the field behind my school. It was my first time smoking a joint and I got so high, I started vomiting. I couldn't move my legs. So he drove me home using my car and then walked all the way back to his car. The next day, he messaged me and asked if I was alright. But we kinda never went out again after that."
We'd want to bury ourselves in a hole somewhere too. (GIF: Giphy)
#11 Sabanbhai, a student from Bangladesh, decided to go on a date with a Malaysian girl. Boy, was he in for a ride...
“She asked me, 'Do you like kurma
?' I said yes. She then took out a bottle of kurma
juice and asked me to try it. She kept talking for ages about how this kurma
juice helped her to be financially independent. She didn't know I am a food science major. So I told her the harmful side effects of the juice, but she was so brainwashed by this MLM bullshit. Later, I said I was not interested [in the kurma
juice] and then we were in for a long pause. She drove me back home and the entire ride was pin drop silence. Most awkward ride back ever.”
Kurma juice and the possibility of a super demanding girlfriend? Why, no thank you. (GIF: Giphy)
#12 It happened during a chemistry lab session. Zarah was at the sink trying to wash the test tubes while chatting with a close friend she had a crush on.
"His guy best friend came along and said, 'Zarah, you smell. You really stink.' I was mortified. And my guy friend looked at me and grimaced. As if he was trying to apologise for his friend's bluntness. I think he was mortified, too. Till this day, I am still very conscious about my body odour and sniff my armpits sometime."
Moral of the story: Use deodorant. (GIF: Giphy)
We hope you never find yourself in scrapes like these.